Returning and repairing

A path back

In Who is wise?, Ben Zoma describes strength as mastering an inclination and honor as honoring other people. Recall one of his answers before continuing. What if, instead, a learner follows an impulse and speaks unkindly?

Teshuvah, תשובה, means return or repentance: turning from sin and returning to Hashem, our reverent way of referring to God. A sin is a wrong against his commandments. Teshuvah takes the wrong seriously while opening a way to change; it does not make the wrong the whole story of a person.

Our first teacher here is Rambam, Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon, also known as Maimonides. His Mishneh Torah is a medieval code that organizes Jewish law. Its Laws of Repentance explain teshuvah. This is not the same book as the much earlier Mishnah, the collection of our sages’ teachings we read in Avot.

We will read Rambam’s description of return, then an earlier Mishnah about Yom Kippur, and then Rambam’s treatment of wrongs against another person. Our practice will stay with small fictional cases, so that we can learn the distinctions carefully.

Leaving the wrong and choosing a direction

Rambam asks, “What is teshuvah?” These selections preserve the order of his explanation; between them he cites verses from the prophets.

Separate two things in the first sentence. Leaving the sin concerns what we stop doing. Resolving not to repeat it concerns the direction we choose for the future. A person might stop an unkind remark because the conversation ended while still intending to repeat it later. That is not yet the change Rambam describes.

“Removes it from his thought” belongs with leaving the wrong: we stop cherishing or planning it. The passage asks for a changed allegiance, not merely an outward pause. Its appeal to the One who knows hidden things makes the sincerity of that resolve matter, even where no other person can see it.

These are connected responsibilities, not a script that works by checking boxes. Nor does a teacher inspect someone’s heart and issue a guarantee about all their future conduct. We read the passage first as a demand on our own honesty before Hashem.

Regret looks back; commitment looks ahead

“Regret what has passed” directs us toward the action already done. “Not to do it again” directs us toward future conduct. Neither can simply take the place of the other.

Consider two statements: “I wish no one had noticed,” and “I was wrong to mock the question.” The first regrets exposure. The second acknowledges the wrong itself. That second recognition gives a reason to change even if the next occasion would pass unnoticed.

A practical plan can support a sincere commitment. For example: “When I want to interrupt with a joke at someone’s expense, I will let the question finish and respond to the subject.” The plan makes change more concrete; it does not replace regret or the decision to leave the wrong.

What the heart resolves, the lips express

Vidui, וידוי, is confession: putting acknowledgment of sin into words before Hashem. Rambam establishes that setting in Laws of Repentance 1:1. In the passage above, the lips are to express what the heart has resolved.

Notice the two directions of the relationship. A silent intention does not make “confess with his lips” disappear. But speech without an inward decision to leave the wrong also falls short. Rambam addresses that second problem immediately afterward in 2:3.

Keep two conversations distinct. Confessing before Hashem acknowledges sin and return. Addressing the person harmed takes responsibility toward that person. The same wrong may require both. A private confession is not an apology delivered to the other person, and an apology to the other person is not by itself the whole of teshuvah.

A holy day does not bypass another person

Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement, our annual holy day devoted to returning to Hashem and seeking cleansing from sin. It is observed with fasting and prayer. Atonement concerns the removal of sin’s burden before God, not merely feeling better about the past. Leviticus 16:29–34 describes the day’s purpose; Rambam calls it a time of teshuvah for everyone in Laws of Repentance 2:7.

Yoma, meaning “the day” in Aramaic, is the Mishnah tractate devoted to Yom Kippur. After describing the day’s service and observance, its final chapter turns to repentance and atonement. Read this distinction:

HaMakom, literally “the Place,” is a name for God in this source. Chavero means one’s fellow, another person; the teaching is not limited to a close friend. “Appeased” here means addressing the wrong with the person harmed and seeking their forgiveness, not offering flattery.

The key words are “does not … until.” The day cannot serve as a detour around the person we wronged. Nor does the first half give permission to plan sin and rely on the calendar: the same mishnah rejects “I will sin, and Yom Kippur will atone.” The preceding mishnah connects the day’s atonement with teshuvah.

Restoring what is owed is not the whole repair

Rambam makes the interpersonal responsibility concrete. After naming wrongs against another person, he says that forgiveness does not come:

There are two responsibilities here: restore what is owed and address the person. Returning property does not erase the need to seek forgiveness. Conversely, an apology does not return something still being withheld. Rambam continues by including wrongs done through words alone, even when there is no money to return.

“Sorry about everything” may leave the actual harm unnamed and unaddressed. In a small ordinary case, a clearer beginning identifies what one did, acknowledges the wrong and makes the needed correction without attaching a demand for immediate reassurance.

Repair follows the harm; it is not one sentence that settles every case. A serious or complicated situation calls for careful guidance from a knowledgeable rabbi and appropriate support. For our exercise, use only the fictional cases below. You do not need to contact anyone or reopen a difficult relationship.

A worked case: the borrowed book

In this fictional case, Noam agrees to return Eli’s book on Monday. When Monday comes, he deliberately keeps it for his own convenience, knowing Eli needs it. On Tuesday, he recognizes the wrong.

1. Stop. Noam stops withholding the book and arranges its prompt return. Feeling bad while continuing to keep it would leave the action unchanged.
2. Regret. He acknowledges that he put his convenience ahead of the agreement and Eli’s need, not merely that Eli noticed.
3. Commit. He resolves not to repeat this and chooses a practical support: record the return date and ask before extending a loan.
4. Confess. Before Hashem, he names the wrong, his regret and his resolve to leave it.
5. Address Eli. He returns the book, acknowledges the missed agreement and asks forgiveness. If his conduct caused another loss, that also needs attention rather than being assumed away.

The order here helps us examine the case; it is not a claim that Rambam gives this five-step script. Eli’s response is not under Noam’s control. Noam’s task is to take responsibility, not to declare the relationship repaired on his own.

Recall at your next session

Close the lesson. Distinguish stopping, regret, future commitment and confession. Then explain why a wrong against another person adds a responsibility that private words before Hashem do not remove.

Return to the sources

• Rambam, Laws of Repentance 1:1: confession before God, including after repayment for harm.
• Laws of Repentance 2:2–3: leaving sin, regret, resolve and spoken confession. The Hebrew chapter reader labels these passages ג [ב] and ד [ג].
• Laws of Repentance 2:7: Yom Kippur as a time of return and confession.
• Mishnah Yoma 8:9: responsibility toward another person. The Hebrew tractate reader labels it 8:7 [9]; the preceding passage is conventionally 8:8.
• Laws of Repentance 2:9: restoring what is owed and seeking forgiveness. The Hebrew chapter reader places this section in paragraphs יא–יג [ט].
• Leviticus 16:29–34 and Mishnah Yoma, chapters 1 and 8: the holy day and its observance.