HALAKHAH · SPEECH · 4 OF 5
Correct with care
Correction can be honest without becoming humiliation. Read the Torah’s connected demands, then practice a first conversation that names a wrong and seeks another person’s good.
In this lesson
From speaking about to speaking with
Words can circulate around a person without ever reaching her in a helpful way. The previous readings examined judgment, tale-bearing and responsibility when another person faces danger. Now the Torah turns to what happens inside a strained relationship: hatred held in the heart, correction spoken to a fellow, and responsibility for our own conduct while we speak.
Torah means the five books of Moshe, or Moses. We are reading Leviticus, called Vayikra in Hebrew. Its nineteenth chapter places these duties within the call to holiness addressed to our whole people. Read this verse as a connected teaching, not three slogans to choose between.
Three movements in one verse
לֹא־תִשְׂנָא אֶת־אָחִיךָ בִּלְבָבֶךָ
הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת־עֲמִיתֶךָ
וְלֹא־תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְאDo not hate your brother in your heart.
You shall surely correct your fellow,
and you shall not bear sin because of him.
The words “brother” and “fellow” describe a relationship we must take seriously. The verse moves from an inward prohibition to a positive act of speech, then ends with another prohibition. Tokhehah means correction or rebuke. Its purpose is to address wrong, not merely to release anger.
The last clause requires interpretation: how might someone bear sin in connection with the other person? We will read how Rambam applies it to the way correction is given. First, notice the verse's own structure.
What does the verse forbid, require, then forbid?
It forbids hatred in the heart, requires correction of a fellow, and forbids bearing sin because of him. The final clause makes our own responsibility part of the encounter.
Does the verse say that keeping quiet always means keeping peace?
No. Its first concern includes hatred held inside. Silence and a peaceful heart are not the same thing; the verse places active correction beside the prohibition of inward hatred.
Name the wrong rather than nursing it
Rambam, Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon, organizes Torah law in the Mishneh Torah. Its Laws of Character, Hilkhot Deot, connect habits of heart and conduct. In 6:6 he describes someone who has been wronged: rather than hate the other person and remain silent, the injured person should explain the particular wrong. Rambam gives the form of a direct question: why did you do this to me?
Notice the precision. A particular act can be named and discussed. “You are a terrible person” replaces that act with a verdict on someone's whole character. In the ordinary disagreements we are practicing here, naming what happened gives the other person something clear to answer. The aim is not a performance before an audience.
A reader summarizes Rambam as “Say whatever you have been holding in.” What did that summary lose?
It lost the specific wrong and the purpose of addressing it. Rambam directs speech toward the person and the particular act; the next passage also governs the manner and aim of the correction.
Privacy, gentleness and purpose
צריך להוכיחו בינו לבין עצמו, וידבר לו בנחת ובלשון רכה
He should correct him privately, and speak to him calmly and in gentle language.
Rambam then says to make clear that the words are for the person's good. These are connected choices: who hears the words, how they are spoken, and what they seek to accomplish. A quiet voice with a contemptuous message still misses the point. A desire to help also needs a fitting way of speaking.
המוכיח את חברו תחילה, לא ידבר לו קשות עד שיכלימנו
When first correcting his fellow, he should not speak harshly to the point of shaming him.
Rambam reads the verse's final clause, “you shall not bear sin because of him,” as a guard on correction itself. This is his explanation of the Torah, not a second sentence inserted into Leviticus. The selected passage teaches how correction begins; his chapter also considers further circumstances. Here we are learning to open an ordinary interpersonal conversation with care.
Name three features of correction in 6:7, and the danger highlighted in 6:8.
Private setting, calm and gentle language, and the person’s good as the purpose. The next passage warns against a first correction that shames the person through harsh speech.
Which source explicitly says “privately”: Leviticus 19:17 or Rambam 6:7?
Rambam 6:7. Leviticus gives the command to correct; Rambam explains its manner. Keeping those levels distinct strengthens the comparison.
Work through a small disagreement
Imagine two members of a study group. Miriam borrowed Leah's notes with permission but returned them after the agreed day. Leah needed them for her preparation. Compare these openings:
- In front of the group: “Everyone should know how selfish you are.”
- Privately: “We agreed on Tuesday, and I needed my notes then. Can we talk about what happened?”
The second opening names the agreement and the effect without pretending to know Miriam's entire character. It leaves room for an answer. Its privacy and directness fit the features we have just read. This is an example we constructed from the sources, not a quotation from Rambam.
A good analysis asks more than whether a sentence sounds polite. Who receives it? What fact does it name? What is the speaker trying to achieve? A gentle beginning can still be honest about a real problem.
Why is “Everyone should know” a warning sign in this example?
It recruits an audience to a character attack instead of addressing the particular wrong privately. The second opening gives Miriam a clear issue to answer and seeks understanding rather than humiliation.
Compose the next conversation
Try a fresh case before opening the answer. A study partner has twice interrupted your explanation before you could finish. You want to keep learning together and give each person room to speak. Write a two-sentence opening for a private conversation. Name the behavior, say what you need, and leave room for a response. Then identify which parts of your draft come from the source principles and which details you supplied.
Compare your draft with one possible opening.
“Twice today I was interrupted before I finished my explanation, and I lost my place. Could we let each other finish, then ask our questions?” The specific act, private setting and gentle request apply Rambam’s approach. The wording and proposed turn-taking practice are our own application, not his text.
Now imagine that your first draft contained “You never listen.” Replace that broad accusation with the event you actually observed. This small revision helps you distinguish evidence from the story anger can build around it. For a dangerous situation, seek safety and appropriate help; this ordinary study-partner exercise supplies no reason to delay protection.
Return to the heart
At your next session, close this page and reconstruct the verse's three movements. Then name two ways Rambam shapes the first correction. Explain why silence can hide hatred and why speech can also become wrongdoing.
What would a source-supported one-sentence summary include?
Leviticus joins refusing inward hatred with correcting a fellow, and Rambam teaches us to begin that correction privately and gently, taking responsibility for the other person’s dignity.
Read in context
Leviticus 19:15–18 places this verse among duties toward our fellows. Rambam, Hilkhot Deot 6:6–9 develops interpersonal correction and its limits. On this edition, the bracketed numbers mark the familiar halakhah numbering; 6:7 spans its paragraphs ח–ט.
Continue to Love without keeping score: an outward favor can still carry an inward grudge.